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罗杰斯:共情,一种未被欣赏的存在
栏目:存在主义心理学  发布时间:2013-6-20 点击数:3125 【返回

 Empathic: An Unappreciated Way of Being

共情:一种未被欣赏的存在

 

 
Carl R. Rogers, Ph.D. Center for Studies of the Person La Jolla, California
(The Counseling Psychologist, 1975, Vol. 5, No. 2-10)
卡尔·罗杰斯博士,加州拉荷亚人的研究中心
《咨询心理学家》1975年,第5期
It is my thesis in this paper that we should re-examine and re-evaluate that very special way of being with another person which has been called empathic. I believe we tend to give too little consideration to an element which is extremely important both for the understanding of personality dynamics and for effecting changes in personality and behavior. It is one of the most delicate and powerful ways we have of using ourselves. In spite of all that has been said and written on this topic, it is a way of being which is rarely seen in full bloom in a relationship. I will start with my own somewhat faltering history in relation to this topic.
这篇文章的主题是,我们应该重新检验和评估这种被称为共情(empathic)的与他人共处的特殊方式。我认为,我们对这一元素关注太少,而其对我们理解人格动力以及产生人格和行为的改变都极为重要。这是我们使用自身( using ourselves)的最为微妙和有力的方式之一。尽管这一主题经常被讨论和表述,但是作为一种存在方式,很少见到它在关系中全面展开。下面将开始讲述我关于这一主题的几分艰难历程。
Personal Vacillations
个人的徘徊
Very early in my work as a therapist I discovered that simply listening to my client, very attentively, was an important way of being helpful. So when I was in doubt as to what I should do, in some active way, I listened. It seemed surprising to me that such a passive kind of interaction could be so useful.
在我作为治疗师的早期生涯中,我发现仅仅是倾听我的来访者,全神贯注地倾听,就是一种重要的有效方式。所以,当我不确定该以某种主动的方式做些什么的时候,我就只是倾听。令人惊奇的是,这样一种被动的交流方式竟如此有用。
A little later a social worker, who had a background of Rankian training, helped me to learn that the most effective approach was to listen for the feelings, the emotions whose patterns could be discerned through the client's words. I believe she was the one who suggested that the best response was to "reflect" these feelings back to the client-- "reflect" becoming in time a word which made me cringe. But at that time it improved my work as therapist, and I was grateful.
后来,一位有着兰克学派(Rankian)背景的社会工作者,帮助我了解到最有效的方法是倾听来访者的情感、情绪,通过他们的言语可以辨别出他们的互动模式。我相信她的建议是,最好的回应便是把这些情感“反映”(reflect)给来访者——“反映”立即成了我奉承的一个词。但是,那时它帮助了我作为治疗师的工作,因此我心存感激。
Then came my transition to a full-time university position where, with the help of students, I was at last able to scrounge equipment for recording our interviews. I cannot exaggerate the excitement of our learnings as we clustered about the machine which enabled us to listen to ourselves, playing over and over some puzzling point at which the interview clearly went wrong, or those moments in which the client moved significantly forward. (I still regard this as the one best way of learning to improve oneself as a therapist.) Among many lessons from these recordings, we came to realize that listening to feelings and "reflecting" them was a vastly complex process. We discovered that we could pinpoint the therapist response which caused a fruitful flow of significant expression to become superficial and unprofitable. Likewise we were able to spot the remark which turned a client's dull and desultory talk into a focused self- exploration.
再后来,我转到全职的大学岗位,在学生的帮助下,我终于能够找到一些设备来记录我们的面谈。当我们簇拥在能够听见自己的机器身旁,反复播放着一些疑点——会谈中明显出错的地方或那些来访者明显前进的时刻,此时我无法形容我们学习时的激动心情。(我仍然认为这是一种提升治疗师自己的最好方式。根据这些录音里的许多经验教训,我们逐渐认识到倾听情感并“反映”它们,是一个极为复杂的过程。我们发现,我们可以指出那些导致富有成效的重要表达变得肤浅和无效的治疗师回应。同样,我们也能够指出那些把来访者的呆滞和散漫变成专注的自我探索的标记。
In such a context of learning it became quite natural to lay more stress upon the content of the therapist response than upon the empathic quality of the listening. To this extent we became heavily conscious of the techniques which the counselor or therapist was using. We became expert in analyzing, in very minute detail, the ebb and flow of the process in each interview, and gained a great deal from that microscopic study. But this tendency to focus on the therapist's responses had consequences which appalled me. I had met hostility, but these reactions were worse. The whole approach came, in a few years, to be known as a technique. "Nondirective therapy," it was said, "is the technique of reflecting the client's feelings." Or an even worse caricature was simply that, "in nondirective therapy you repeat the last words the client has said." I was so shocked by these complete distortions of our approach that for a number of years I said almost nothing about empathic listening, and when I did it was to stress an empathic attitude, with little comment as to how this might be implemented in the relationship. I preferred to discuss the qualities of positive regard and therapist congruence, which together with empathy I hypothesized as promoting the therapeutic process. They too were often misunderstood, but at least not caricatured.
在这样一种学习环境下,我们很自然地强调治疗师的回应内容,而不是倾听的共情程度。这样一来,我们变得过于看重咨询师或治疗师的技术。我们变得熟练于分析,擅长分析每一个微小的细节,每一次面谈的起伏过程,并且从微观研究中获取大量的资料。但是,我们专注于治疗师回应这一趋势的影响使我感到震惊。虽然我曾遇到一些敌意,但是这些反应更为糟糕。一些年之后,这全部的方法被认为是一种技术。“非指导性治疗”,它被认为“是一种反映来访者情感的技术。”或者,更为糟糕的讽刺直接说道,“在非指导性治疗中,你就重复来访者所说内容的最后几个词。”我们方法被完全地扭曲,这使我感到非常震惊,因为一直以来,我对共情性倾听几乎没有说过什么;而且,当我在共情的时候,我强调的是一种共情的态度,至于在关系中它可以如何实施几乎没有发表意见。我更愿意讨论积极关注和治疗师一致性的质量,我假设它们与共情一起会促进治疗过程。虽然它们也经常遭到误解,但至少不是讽刺性的。
The Current Need
当前的需要
Over the years, however, the research evidence keeps piling up, and it points strongly to the conclusion that a high degree of empathy in a relationship is possibly the most potent and certainly one of the most potent factors in bringing about change and learning. And so I believe it is time for me to forget the caricatures and misrepresentations of the past and take a fresh look at empathy.
然而,多年以来,研究证据持续增多并有力地指出,关系中高度的共情可能是引起改变和学习最有效的因素,至少确定是最有效的因素之一。因此,我相信现在是时候了——忘记过去的讽刺和误解,并以新的眼光来看待共情。
For still another reason it seems timely to do this. In the United States during the past decade or two many new approaches to therapy have held center stage. Gestalt therapy, psychodrama, primal therapy, bio-energetics, rational-emotive therapy, transactional analysis are some of the best known, but there are more. Part of their appeal lies in the fact that in most instances the therapist is clearly the expert, actively manipulating the situation, often in dramatic ways, for the client's benefit. If I read the signs correctly I believe there is a decrease in the fascination with such expertise in guidance. With another approach based on expertise, behavior therapy, I believe interest and fascination are still on the increase. A technological society has been delighted to have found a technology by which a man's behavior can be shaped, even without his knowledge or approval, toward goals selected by the therapist, or by society. Yet even here much questioning by thoughtful individuals is springing up as the philosophical and political implications of "behavior mod" become more clearly visible. So I have seen a willingness on the part of many to take another look at ways of being with people which evoke se/f-directed change, which locate power in the person, not the expert, and this brings me again to examine carefully what we mean by empathy and what we have come to know about it. Perhaps the time is ripe for its value to be appreciated.
还有一个原因表示这样做似乎是合乎时宜的。在美国过去的一二十年里,许多新的治疗方法占据了中心舞台。其中最为知名的有:格式塔治疗、心理剧、原始治疗(primal therapy)、生物能量(bio-energetics)、理性情绪疗法、交互分析(transactional analysis),但是还有更多的疗法。它们的吸引力部分在于这一事实:在大多数情况下,很明显治疗师是专家,为了来访者的利益,经常以戏剧性的方式主动地操纵着情境。如果我正确地理解了未来的迹象,我相信,人们对这种专门技术指导的着迷会有所减少。至于另一种基于专门技术的方法——行为治疗,我相信,人们对其的兴趣和着迷仍然在增加。一个技术的社会乐于发现一门技术,凭借它,人的行为可以向着治疗师或社会所选定的目标被塑造,即使没有他的理解或同意。不过,即使在这里,哲学和政治对“行为方式”的影响变得越来越明显,一些有思想的个体还是提出了许多质疑。所以,我已经看见一种意愿,许多人采取另一种方式看待人们的存在,这种方式带来自我指导式的改变,它寻找当事人(而不是专家)身上的力量,这使我又一次仔细地检查共情到底是什么,我们对它又了解了多少。也许现在时机成熟了——去赏识共情的价值。
Early Definitions
早期的定义
Many definitions have been given of the term and I myself have set forth several. More than twenty years ago (though not published until 1959) I attempted to give a highly rigorous definition as part of a formal statement of my concepts and theory. It went as follows:
共情这个词有过很多定义,我自己也提过好几个定义。20多年前(尽管直到1959年才发表),我尝试给出一个非常严格的定义,作为正式陈述我的概念和理论的一个部分。这个定义是这样的:
The state of empathy, or being empathic, is to perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto as if one were the person, but without ever losing the 'as if’ condition. Thus it means to sense the hurt or the pleasure of another as he senses it and to perceive the causes thereof as he perceives them, but without ever losing the recognition that it is as if I were hurt or pleased and so forth. It this 'as if' quality is lost, then the state is one of identification (Rogers, 1959, pp. 210-211. See also Rogers, 1957)
共情的状态,或者说共情,是准确地觉察另一个人的内在参考框架,这种觉察带有情感的成分和含义,好像你就是那个人,但又永远不失去“好像”的境界。因此,这意味着去感受另一个人感受到的痛苦或快乐,就像他感受到的那样;并去觉察其原因,就像他觉察到的那样,但是永远不失去这一认识:好像我是痛苦或快乐的,如此等等。如果失去了这个“好像”,那么这种状态就是一种认同(Rogers, 1959, pp. 210-211. See also Rogers, 1957)。
Experiencing as a Useful Construct
体验作为一个有用的概念
To formulate a current description I would want to draw on the concept of experiencing as formulated by Gendlin (1962). This concept has enriched our thinking in various ways as will be evident in this paper. Briefly it is his view that at all times there is going on in the human organism a flow of experiencings to which the individual can turn again and again as a referent in order to discover the meaning of his experience. He sees empathy as pointing sensitively to the "felt meaning" which the client is experiencing in this particular moment, in order to help him focus on that meaning and to carry it further to its full and uninhibited experiencing.
为了制定一个当前的描述,我想利用由简德林(1962)提出的体验的概念。这个概念以许多方式丰富了我们的思维,我们在这篇文章中将会看到。简单地说,他的观点是,在人体组织中一直发生着源源不断的体验,个体为了发现他的体验的意义,可以将其作为一个指示物反复地回顾。他将共情视为敏感地指向来访者在这个特点时刻所体验到的“感受意义”,是为了帮助他聚焦于那个意义,并将其带到完全的和不受拘束的体验。
An example may make more clear both the concept and its relation to empathy. A man in an encounter group has been making vaguely negative statements about his father. The facilitator says, "it sounds as though you might be angry at your father." He replies, "No, I don't think so." "Possibly dissatisfied with him?" "Well, yes, perhaps," (said rather doubtfully). "Maybe you're disappointed in him." Quickly the man responds, "That's it! I am disappointed that he's not a strong person. I think I've always been disappointed in him ever since I was a boy."
举个例子也许会更清楚这个概念及其与共情的关系。一个男人在会心团体中对他父亲做了暧昧的消极表达。团体引导者说:“听起来好像你是对你父亲生气。”他回答道:“不,我不这么认为。”“也许是对他感到不满?”“嗯,是的,也许。”(说得相当地含糊)。“也许你是对他感到失望。”这个男人很快回应:“就是这样!让我感到失望,他不是一个坚强的人。我认为我总是对他失望,从我还是孩子时起就这样。”
Against what is the man checking these terms for their correctness? Gendlin's view, with which I concur, is that he is checking them against the ongoing psycho-physiological flow within himself to see if they fit. This flow is a very real thing, and people are able to use it as a referent. In this case "angry" doesn't match the felt meaning at all; "dissatisfied" comes closer, but is not really correct; "disappointed" matches it exactly, and encourages a further flow of the experiencing, as often happens.
这个男人检查这些词语的正确性时依靠的什么?简德林的观点是,对此我表示同意,他在检查它们时依靠的是他自己内部正在进行的心理-生理流动,来确认它们是否匹配。这种流动是非常真实的东西,人们能够运用它作为一个指示物。在这种情况下,“生气”与这种感受根本不匹配;“不满”更为接近些,但还不完全正确;“失望”则完全匹配,并促进了这种体验的进一步流动,就如常常发生的那样。
A Current Definition
现在的定义
With this conceptual background, let me attempt a description of empathy which would seem satisfactory to me today. I would no longer be terming it a "state of empathy," because I believe it to be a process, rather than a state. Perhaps I can capture that quality.
根据这个概念的背景,我想对共情进行一个新的令人满意的描述。我不会再把它定义为一种“共情的状态”,因为我相信,与其说是一种状态,不如说共情是一个过程。也许我可以描述出共情的这种特征。(但愿我可以描述出(state of empathy is a process rather a state)这种特性/特征。我是这么理解的)
The way of being with another person which is termed empathic has several facets. It means entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it. It involves being sensitive, moment to moment, to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person, to the fear or rage or tenderness or confusion or whatever, that he/she is experiencing. It means temporarily living in his/her life, moving about in it delicately without making judgments, sensing meanings of which he/she is scarcely aware, but not trying to uncover feelings of which the person is totally unaware, since this would be too threatening. It includes communicating your sensings of his/her world as you look with fresh and unfrightened eyes at elements of which the individual is fearful. It means frequently checking with him/ her as to the accuracy of your sensings, and being guided by the responses you receive. You are a confident companion to the person in his/her inner world. By pointing to the possible meanings in the flow of his/her experiencing you help the person to focus on this useful type of referent, to experience the meanings more fully, and to move forward in the experiencing.
与他人实现共情的方法涉及好几个方面。共情意味着进入到他人私密的感知世界,并且在其中感到自在。这包括对于另一个人的内心中发生变化的感知意义(felt meaning)和这个人正在经历的感觉,无论是恐惧、愤怒、脆弱、困惑还是其他感觉,时刻保持敏感。这意味着暂时进入另一个人的生活中,在其中小心地移动而不作任何评价,感受他/她很少察觉到的感受,但却不去揭开这个人完全不曾察觉到的感觉——因为这会变得过于具有侵略性。这包括当你用新奇而不惊讶的双眼去审视令这个人感到害怕的因素时,你要与之交流你对他或她的世界所产生的感受。这意味着需要去经常与这个人核对你对他/她的感受正确与否,并从得到的回应中得到引导。你是他/她内心世界的一名自信的朋友。通过指出他/她的经历可能代表的意义,你帮助这个人关注于这一有效的指示对象、去更完整地感受这些意义,并且在体验的过程中前进。
To be with another in this way means that for the time being you lay aside the views and values you hold for yourself in order to enter another's world without prejudice. In some sense it means that you lay aside your self and this can only be done by a person who is secure enough in himself that he knows he will not get lost in what may turn out to be the strange or bizarre world of the other, and can comfortably return to his own world when he wishes.
通过这种方法与他人接触意味着,在这段时间内你需要把你拥有的观点和价值观放在一边,从而不带偏见地进入另一个人的世界。从某种程度上说,你需要把你自己搁置于一边。而这只有某一种人才能做到,这个人非常具有安全感,并且知道自己不会在他人的可能会有些陌生或奇怪的世界中迷失,而之后又能从容地回到自己的世界中。
Perhaps this description makes clear that being empathic is a complex, demanding, strong yet subtle and gentle way of being.
或许这个描述说清楚了一点:共情是一种复杂的、要求高的、强烈的却又是细微而温和的存在方式。(感觉这句翻译的不好,大家给提提建议吧)
Operational Definitions
操作性定义
The foregoing description is hardly an operational definition, suitable for use in research. Yet such operational definitions have been formulated and widely used. There is the Barrett-Lennard Relationship Inventory, to be filled out by the parties to the relationship, in which empathy is defined operationally by the items used. Some of the items from this instrument, indicating the range from empathic to non-empathic, follow:
前述的描述难以成为一种操作性定义,也不适合在研究中使用。其实共情的操作性定义早已形成并被广泛使用。如巴瑞特-伦纳德关系问卷(Barrett-Lennard Relationship Inventory),这个问卷由处于一段关系中的双方来填写,而共情程度由问卷中的条目在操作上进行定义。这个问卷中的一些条目表明了从共情至不共情的范围,如下:
He appreciates what my experience feels like to me.
他理解我的经历给我的感觉。(他能够领会我所体验到的,正如我的感觉。)
He understands what I say from a detached, objective point of view.
他可以理解我在一种超然、客观状态下表达的观点。(他从一种分离的、客观的立场来理解我。)
He understands my words but not the way I feel.
但是他只理解我的话,不理解我的感受。(他能够理解我所说的,但那不是我的感受。)
Barrett-Lennard also has a specific conceptual formulation of empathy upon which he based his items. While it definitely overlaps with the definition given, it is sufficiently different to warrant its quotation:
巴瑞特-伦纳德(Barrett-Lennard)还有一份详细的关于共情的概念性陈述,他制定的问卷条目便是从这个基础上而来。尽管这个陈述与之前给出的定义会有重叠,但它也有足够的差异来证明以下的引述:
Qualitatively it [empathic understanding] is an active process of desiring to know the full, present and changing awareness of another person, of reaching out to receive his communication and meaning, and of translating his words and signs into experienced meaning that matches at least those aspects of his awareness that are most important to him at the moment. It is an experiencing of the consciousness 'behind' another's outward communication, but with continuous awareness that this consciousness is originating and proceeding in the other (Barrett- Lennard, 1962).
定性地说,[共情式理解]是一个主动的过程,包括想要知道另一个人完整的、当前的和变化的意识,去努力去接收他的沟通信息和含义,并把他的言语和非言语翻译成他所体验到的含义(至少与当下对于他的意识最重要的那一部分相匹配)。这一过程是理解他人公开谈话的“背后”所表现的意识(这是一种对他人的外部交流“背后”的意识的体验),但是时刻谨记这一意识在他人身上一直产生并延伸。(Barrett- Lennard, 1962)
Then there is the Accurate Empathy Scale, devised by Truax and others for use by raters (Truax, 1967). Even small portions of recorded interviews can be reliably rated by this scale. The nature of the scale may be indicated by giving the definition of Stage 1, which is the lowest level of empathic understanding, and Stage 8, which is a very high (though not the highest) degree of empathy.
特鲁瓦克斯(Truax)及其同事设计了一个由评定者使用的精确共情量表(Accurate Empathy Scale)(Truax, 1967)。甚至非常少量的会谈记录都能够由这个量表可靠地评定。这个量表的性质可以由几个阶段的定义来表示:阶段1,是最低水平的共情式理解;阶段8,是非常高(尽管不是最高)的共情程度。
Here is Stage 1: Therapist seems completely unaware of even the most conspicuous of the client's feelings. His responses are not appropriate to the mood and content of the client's feelings. His responses are not appropriate to the mood and content of the client's statements and there is no determinable quality of empathy, hence, no accuracy whatsoever. The therapist may be bored and disinterested or actively offering advice, but he is not communicating an awareness of the client's current feelings (Truax, 1967, pp. 556-7).
这里是第 1 阶段:治疗师似乎连来访者最显而易见的感受也完全没有觉察。对于来访者感受的情绪和内容来说,他的回应并不恰当。对于来访者陈述的情绪和内容来说,他的回应也不恰当,而且没有可测定的共情性质,因此,没有任何精确度可言。这位治疗师可能感到厌倦而缺乏兴趣,也可能在积极地提供建议,但他并没有在传达对来访者当前感受的觉察(Truax,1967,pp. 556-7)。
Stage 8 is defined as follows:
第 8 阶段定义如下:
Therapist accurately interprets all the client's present acknowledged feelings. He also uncovers the most deeply shrouded of the client's feeling areas, voicing meanings in the client's experience of which the client is scarcely aware ... He moves into feelings and experiences that are only hinted at by the client and does so with sensitivity and accuracy. The content that comes to life may be new but it is not alien. While the therapist in Stage 8 makes mistakes, mistakes do not have a jarring note but are covered by the tentative character of the response. Also the therapist is sensitive to his mistakes and quickly alters or changes his responses in midstream, indicating that he more clearly knows what is being talked about and what is being sought after in the client's own explorations. The therapist reflects a togetherness with the patient in tentative trial and error exploration. His voice tone reflects the seriousness and depth of his empathic grasp. (Truax, 1967, p. 566).
治疗师能够准确解读来访者当前承认的所有感受。他还会揭露来访者裹藏最深的感受领域,说出来访者体验中他自己很少觉察到的含义……他进入来访者略微提及的那些情感和体验,并做到敏感而准确。呈现出来的内容可能是新的,但并不陌生。尽管第 8 阶段的治疗师也会犯错,但不会是格格不入的错误,并且,由于他们的回应是试探性的,所以这些错误得以被掩护。另外,治疗师对错误很敏感,会很快在中途调整或改变其回应,表明他更清楚地了解了谈论的内容,更清楚地了解了来访者在他自己的探索中追求什么。治疗师在试验性的尝试中反映与来访者在一起的感觉。他的语调反应了共情领会的严肃性和深度。(Truax, 1967, p. 566)。
I have wished to indicate by these examples that the empathic process can be defined in theoretical, conceptual, subjective and operational ways. Even so, we have not reached the limits of its base.
我曾希望通过这些例子来表明,共情过程可以用理论的,概念性的,主观的,可操作的方式定义。即使这样,我们也仍然未曾达到其本质的极限。
A Definition for Contemporary Persons
当代人的定义
Eugene Gendlin and others have recently been involved in a helping community enterprise called "Changes" which has many implications for dealing with the alienated and counter-culture members of the chaos which we call urban living. Of particular interest here is the "Rap Manual" which has been developed to aid the ordinary person in learning "how to help with the other person's process."
尤金·简德林和其他人最近参与了一个被称作“改变”的互助团体项目,这个项目在对所谓的混乱的城市生活中被疏远和反文化的成员造成了不少影响。让人特别感兴趣的是,这里有“交谈手册”(Rap Manual),用于帮助普通人学习“如何协助另一个人的改变”。
This Manual starts out with a section on "Absolute Listening." Some excerpts give the flavor:
这本手册以关于“ 纯粹的聆听”的章节开始。一些摘录展示了其风格:
This is not laying trips on people. You only listen and say back the other person's thing, step by step, just as that person seems to have it at that moment. You never mix into it any of your own things or ideas, never lay on the other person anything that person didn't express ... To show that you understand exactly, make a sentence or two which gets exactly at the personal meaning this person wanted to put across. This might be in your own words, usually, but use that person's own words for the touchy main things (Gendlin and Hendricks, undated).
这并非为人们定制路线。你仅仅是聆听并反馈另一个人说的事情,一步步地,好像就在此刻经历着它的那个人。你绝不混进任何你自己的事情或观点,绝不将那个人未表达的任何东西加给他……为了表明你的准确理解,用一两句话对那个人想要说明的个人意义进行澄清。这可以是用你自己的话,通常如此,但对于敏感的重要事件,用那个人自己的话来表达(Gendlin 和 Hendricks,日期未注明)。
It continues in this same vein, with many detailed suggestions, including ideas on "How to know when you're doing it right."
这一手册全文都是这样的风格,有许多具体的建议,包括“如何知道你正在做的是对的。”
So it seems clear that an empathic way of being, though highly subtle conceptually, can also be described in terms which are perfectly understandable by contemporary youth, or citizens of a beleaguered inner city. It is a broad-ranging conception.
因此,似乎很清楚共情式的存在方式,尽管在概念上非常微妙,也能够以当代的年轻人或城市人所理解的方式来描述。这是一个广义上的概念。
General Research Findings
一般研究结果
What have we come to know about empathy through research based on the instruments mentioned above, and others which have been devised? The answer is that we have learned a great deal and I will try to present some of these learnings, giving first some of the general findings which are of interest. I will reserve until later an analysis of the effects of an empathic climate on the dynamics and behavior of the recipient. Here then are some of the general statements which can be made with assurance.
通过使用上文提到的工具或其他我们设计的工具,我们对共情已经了解了多少?答案是我们已经学到了很多,我将尝试来呈现这些发现中的一部分,首先呈现的会是其中有趣的那些部分。在分析共情气氛对接受者的动力和行为的影响之前,我将有所保留。这里是一些非常有把握的一般性陈述。 
The ideal therapist is first of all empathic. When psychotherapists of many different orientations describe their concept of the ideal therapist, the therapist they would like to become, they are in high agreement in giving empathy the highest ranking out of twelve variables. This statement is based on a study by Raskin (1974) of 83 practicing therapists of at least eight different therapeutic approaches. The definition of the empathic quality was very similar to that used in this paper. This study corroborates and strengthens an earlier research by Fiedler (1950b). So we may conclude that therapists recognize that the most important factor in being a therapist is "trying, as sensitively and as accurately as he can, to understand the client, from the latter's own point of view" (Raskin, 1974).
理想的治疗师首要的品质就是共情。当许多不同取向的心理治疗师描述他们对于理想治疗师的概念,描述他们想成为什么样的治疗师时,大家几乎高度一致地认为在十二个变量中,共情应排在第一位。这个说法是基于拉斯金(Raskin,1974)对于至少8个不同治疗取向的83名一线治疗师的研究。此研究中共情质量的定义和这篇论文里所使用的定义是非常相似的。这个研究进一步验证了费德勒(Fiedler,1950b)早期的一项研究。因此我们可以得出结论:治疗师意识到了成为一个治疗师的首要品质就是“努力、尽可能敏锐而准确地,站在来访者的角度来理解来访者”(Raskin, 1974)。
Empathy is correlated with self-exploration and process movement. It has been learned that a relationship climate with a high degree of empathy is associated with various aspects of process and progress in the therapy. Such a climate is definitely related to a high degree of self- exploration in the client (Bergin and Strupp, 1972; Kurtz and Grummon, 1972; Tausch, Bastine, Friese and Sander, 1970).
共情与自我探索和治疗进展是相联系的。我们已经了解到,具有高度共情的关系氛围与治疗中进展的许多方面密切相关。这样的氛围很明显与来访者的高水平的自我探索也相关((Bergin and Strupp, 1972; Kurtz and Grummon, 1972; Tausch, Bastine, Friese and Sander, 1970))。
Empathy early in the relationship predicts later success. The degree of empathy which exists and will exist in the relationship can be determined very early, in the fifth or even the second interview. Such early measurements are predictive of the later success or lack of success in therapy (Barrett-Lennard, 1962; Tausch, 1973). The implication of these findings is that we could avoid a great deal of unsuccessful therapy, by measuring the therapist's empathy early on.
一段关系中早期的共情可以预测这段关系成功与否。一段关系中出现和将要出现的共情水平可以在很早就能确定下来,基本上第五次甚至第二次面谈就可以确定。这个早期的测量对于后来的治疗成功是有预测作用的(Barrett-Lennard, 1962; Tausch, 1973)。因此,这些研究发现告诉我们,通过在早期测量咨询师的共情水平,可以避免大量不成功的治疗。
The client comes to perceive more empathy in successful cases. In successful cases, the client's perception of the empathic quality in the relationship, and that quality as rated by objective judges, increases over time, although the increase is not very great (Cartwright and Lerner, 1966; Van Der Veen, 1970).
来访者在成功的治疗中会感觉到更多的共情。在成功的案例中,咨访关系中的来访者感知到的共情特质会越来越多,而这样的特质是由客观标准所评定的,尽管这种增加不是非常明显(Cartwright and Lerner, 1966; Van Der Veen, 1970)。
Understanding is provided by the therapist, not drawn from him. We know that empathy is something offered by the therapist, and not simply elicited by some particular type of client (Tausch, et al, 1970; Truax and Carkhuff, 1967). There have been speculations to the contrary, that an appealing or seductive client might be responsible for drawing understanding from the therapist. The evidence does not support this. Indeed, the degree of empathy in a relationship can be rather accurately inferred simply by listening to the therapist responses, without any knowledge of the client's statements (Quinn, 1953). So if an empathic climate exists in a relationship, the probability is high that the therapist is responsible.
理解是由治疗师提供的,而不是被索取的。我们知道共情是治疗师应具有的特质,而不是由于某类来访者而引发出来的(Tausch, et al, 1970; Truax and Carkhuff, 1967)。我们已有对反面案例的思考,认为一位有魅力的来访者可能是获得治疗师的理解的原因。但没有证据支持这一点。事实上,一段关系中的共情水平可以被相当精确地推测——仅仅通过倾听治疗师的反馈,而不需要对来访者的陈述有所了解(Quinn, 1953)。所以,如果一段关系中存在共情的氛围,那么很可能是咨询师具有共情这一特质。
The more experienced the therapist, the more likely he is to be empathic. Experienced therapists offer a higher degree of empathy to their clients than less experienced, whether we are assessing this quality through the client's perception or through the ears of qualified judges (Barrett- Lennard, 1962; Fiedler, 1949, 1950a; Mullen and Abeles, 1972). Evidently therapists do learn, as the years go by, to come closer to their ideal of a therapist, and to be more sensitively understanding.
咨询师越有经验,那么他越可能有共情的特质。经验丰富的治疗师比经验不足的治疗师会给来访者提供更高水平的共情,不管我们是通过来访者的感知,还是通过有资质的评判者来评估这一特质。显然,随着时间流逝,治疗师会越来越接近他们的理想标准,也会变得越来越善于理解。
Empathy is a special quality in a relationship, and therapists offer definitely more of it than even helpful friends (Van Der Veen, 1970). This is reassuring.
在一段关系中,共情是一种特殊的品质,甚至比起有帮助的好朋友,治疗师提供的共情要多得多(Van Der Veen, 1970)。这是令人欣慰的。
The better integrated the therapist is within himself, the higher the degree of empathy he exhibits. Personality disturbance in the therapist goes along with a lower empathic understanding, but when he is free from discomfort and confident in interpersonal relationships, he offers more of understanding (Bergin and Jasper, 1969; Bergin and Solomon, 1970). As I have considered this evidence, and also my own experience in the training of therapists, I come to the somewhat uncomfortable conclusion that the more psychologically mature and integrated the therapist is as a person, the more helpful is the relationship he provides. This puts a heavy demand on the therapist as a person.
一位治疗师的内部整合得越好,那么他展现的共情水平也越高。治疗师的人格困扰往往与低水平的共情理解一起出现,但是,一旦他解决了不适应的问题并在人际关系中感到自信,他将提供更多的共情理解(Bergin and Jasper, 1969; Bergin and Solomon, 1970)。根据我对这个观点的思考,还有我培训治疗师时的个人经验,我得出多少有些让人不舒服的结论:治疗师作为一人,心理越成熟、整合程度越高,那么他在关系中就越有帮助。这就对治疗师作为一个人提出了很高的要求。
Experienced therapists often fall far short of being empathic. In spite of what has been said of experienced therapists, they differ sharply in the degree of empathy they offer. Raskin (1974) showed that when the recorded interviews of six experienced therapists were rated by other experienced therapists, the differences on twelve variables were significant at the .001 level, and empathy was second in the extent of difference. The outstanding characteristic of the client- centered therapist was his empathy. Other approaches had as their outstanding characteristic their cognitive quality, or therapist-directedness, and the like. So, though therapists regarded empathic listening as the most important element in their ideal, in their actual practice they often fall far short of this. In fact the ratings of the recorded interviews of these six expert therapists by 83 other therapists came up with a surprising finding. In only two cases did the work of the experts correlate positively with the description of the ideal therapist. In four cases the correlation was negative, the most extreme being a -.66! So much for therapy as it is practiced!
往往有经验丰富的治疗师离共情还差得很远。虽然有些治疗师经验丰富,但他们所提供的共情水平相差很多。拉斯金(Raskin,1974)曾显示,将6名经验丰富的治疗师的面谈记录给其他老练的咨询师评价,12个变量的差异(理想与实际)在0.001水平上达到显著性,共情在其中排名第二。来访者中心疗法的治疗师最鲜明的特色质就是他的共情。其他取向的疗法则将认知品质或治疗师指导等类似的东西作为他们的鲜明特色。所以,虽然治疗师认为共情性的倾听是他们的理想中最重要的因素,但是在他们的实际操作中,他们往往离这一步还差很远。事实上,由83名治疗师所评定的那6名专家治疗师的面谈记录,给出了一个令人惊讶的发现,只有在2个案例中,专家的工作才和理想的治疗师描述有正相关,在另外4个案例中则为负相关,最大值达到-0.66。治疗实践的情况就是如此!
Clients are better judges of the degree of empathy than are therapists. Perhaps then it is not too surprising that therapists prove to be rather inaccurate in assessing their own degree of empathy in a relationship. The client's perception of this quality agrees rather well with that of unbiased judges listening to the recordings, but the agreement between clients and therapists, or judges and therapists, is low (Rogers, Gendlin, Kiesier and Truax, 1967, Chs. 5, 8). Perhaps, if we wish to become better therapists, we should let our clients tell us whether we are understanding them accurately!
相对于治疗师来说,来访者可能是一个更好的共情评价者。也许不那么令人惊讶,在评价他们自己在关系中的共情水平时,治疗师被证明是相当地不准确。来访者对这一品质的觉知与不带偏见的听取录音的评定员相当一致,但是,来访者与治疗师、评定员者与治疗师之间的一致性却相当低。(Rogers, Gendlin, Kiesier and Truax, 1967, Chs. 5, 8)。也许,如果我们想成为更好的治疗师,我们应让来访者告诉我们是否正确地理解了他们!
Brilliance and diagnostic perceptiveness are unrelated to empathy. It is important to know that the degree to which the therapist creates an empathic climate is not related to his academic performance or intellectual competence (Bergin and Jasper, 1969; Bergin and Solomon, 1970). Neither is it related to the accuracy of his perception of the individual or his diagnostic competence. In fact it may be negatively related to the latter (Fiedler, 1953). This is a most important finding. If neither academic brilliance nor diagnostic skill is significant, then clearly an empathic quality belongs in a different realm of discourse from most clinical thinking-- psychological and psychiatric. I believe we are reluctant to accept the implications.
聪明和诊断的洞察力和共情无关。我们要知道,治疗师所创造的共情氛围与他的学术成就或智力才能无关(Bergin and Jasper, 1969; Bergin and Solomon, 1970)。与他对个体的洞察力或他的诊断能力也没有关系。事实上,它与后者可能是负相关的(Fiedler, 1953)。这是一项最为重要的发现。如果学术才华或诊断技能都是不重要的,那么很明显共情品质应归入一个不同的讨论领域,离开最典型的临床思维——心理学的和精神病学的。我认为我们还不情愿接受这一暗示。
An empathic way of being can be learned from empathic persons. Perhaps the most important statement of all is that the ability to be accurately empathic is something which can be developed by training. Therapists, parents and teachers can be helped to become empathic. This is especially likely to occur if their teachers and supervisors are themselves individuals of sensitive understanding (Aspy, 1972; Aspy and Roebuck, 1975; Bergin and Solomon, 1970; Blocksma, 1951; Guerney, Andronico and Guerney, 1970). It is most encouraging to know that this subtle, elusive quality, of utmost importance in therapy, is not something one is "born with", but can be learned, and learned most rapidly in an empathic climate. Perhaps only two basic elements or therapeutic effectiveness can profit from cognitive and experiential training: empathy and congruence.
共情的存在方式可以从共情之人身上学习到。也许这些陈述中最重要的,精确共情的能力是某种可以通过训练而发展的东西。治疗师、父母和教师可以被帮助变得共情。如果他们的老师和督导自己是容易理解他人的人,这尤其可能发生(Aspy, 1972; Aspy and Roebuck, 1975; Bergin and Solomon, 1970; Blocksma, 1951; Guerney, Andronico and Guerney, 1970)。最鼓舞人心的是,知道这种微妙的、难捉摸的品质,在治疗中最为重要的品质,不是某种“与生俱来”的东西,而是能够学习到的,而且在共情的气氛中可以快速地习得。也许只有两种基本的元素或疗效因子能够得益于认知和经验的训练:共情和一致性。
The Consequences of an Empathic Climate
共情氛围的影响
So much for the knowledge which has been gained about empathy. But what effects do a series of deeply empathic responses have upon the recipient? Here the evidence is quite overwhelming. Empathy is clearly related to positive outcome. From schizophrenic patients to pupils in ordinary classrooms; from clients of a counseling center to teachers in training; from neurotics in Germany to neurotics in the United States, the evidence is the same, and it indicates that the more the therapist or teacher is sensitively understanding, the more likely is constructive learning and change (Aspy, 1972, Ch. 4; Aspy and Roebuck, 1975; Barrett-Lennard, 1962; Bergin and Jasper, 1969; Bergin and Strupp, 1972; Halkides, 1958; Kurtz and Grummon, 1972; Mullen and Abeles, 1971; Rogers, et al, 1967, Chs. 5, 9; Tausch, Bastine, Bommert, Minsel and Nickel, 1972; Tausch, et al, 1970; Truax, 1966). As stated by Bergin and Strupp (1972), various studies "demonstrate a positive correlation between therapist empathy, patient self-exploration, and independent criteria of patient change" (p. 25).
共情相关的知识就了解到这里。然而,一连串的深度共情反应在接受者身上会产生什么影响呢?这里给出的证据是十分有力的。共情明显与积极的治疗效果相关。从精神分裂症患者到普通教室里的学生,从咨询中心的来访者到培训中心的教师;从德国的神经官能症患者到美国的患者,证据显示一概如此,这表明了治疗师或者教师越是敏感地理解他人,有建设性的学习和改变就越可能发生 (Aspy, 1972, Ch. 4; Aspy and Roebuck, 1975; Barrett-Lennard, 1962; Bergin and Jasper, 1969; Bergin and Strupp, 1972; Halkides, 1958; Kurtz and Grummon, 1972; Mullen and Abeles, 1971; Rogers, et al, 1967, Chs. 5, 9; Tausch, Bastine, Bommert, Minsel and Nickel, 1972; Tausch, et al, 1970; Truax, 1966)。 就如Bergin和Strupp (1972)所说,不同的研究“证明了在治疗师的共情、病人的自我探索与独立的病人改变标准之间存在正相关”(p.25)。
Yet I believe far too little attention has been given these findings. This deceptively simple empathic interaction which we have been discussing has many and profound consequences. I want to discuss these at some length.
但我以为对这些研究发现给予的关注还是太少了。我们已经在讨论的看似简单的共情互动,其实有许多深刻的影响。我想用一些篇幅来讨论这些。
In the first place, it dissolves alienation. For the moment, at least, the recipient finds himself/ herself a connected part of the human race. Though it may not be articulated clearly, the experience goes something like this. "I have been talking about hidden things, partly veiled even from myself, feelings that are strange, possibly abnormal, feelings I have never communicated to another, nor even clearly to myself. And yet he has understood, understood them even more clearly than I do. If he knows that I am talking about, what I mean, then to this degree I am not so strange, or alien, or set apart. I make sense to another human being. So I am in touch with, even in relationship with, others. I am no longer an isolate."
首先,它消除了疏离感。至少,接受者暂时感到自己和人类有了相连的部分。尽管可能这种连接并不清晰,但是给人的体验是这样的。“我曾谈及一些隐秘的、甚至对我自己也部分隐秘的事情,一些奇怪的、甚至不正常的情感,一些我从没与别人沟通过的情感,甚至和自己也没有清楚沟通过。然而,他理解了,甚至比我更清楚地理解它们。如果他知道我正在谈什么,我的意思是,这样我便不是那么怪异、像外星人,或者离群索居。我对另一个人来说有意义。这样我就在和他人接触,甚至是保持交际。我不再是一个孤立的人。”
Perhaps this explains one of the major findings of our study of psychotherapy with schizophrenics. We found that those patients receiving from their therapists a high degree of accurate empathy as rated by unbiased judges, showed the sharpest reduction in schizophrenic pathology as measured by the MMPI (Rogers, et al, 1967, p. 85). This suggests that the sensitive understanding by another may have been the most potent element in bringing the schizophrenic out of his estrangement, and into the world of relatedness. Jung has said that the schizophrenic ceases to be schizophrenic when he meets someone by whom he feels understood. Our study provides empirical evidence in support of that statement.
这也许解释了我们对精神分裂症患者心理治疗研究的主要发现。我们发现,那些从他们的治疗师那里获得如同公正的法官做出的评定那样高度准确共情的病人身上,显示出由MMPI测得的精神分裂症病理症状的急剧减少(Rogers, et al, 1967, p. 85)。这暗示着,另一人做出的敏感的理解可能是把精神分裂症患者带离隔阂,走入相互关联的世界的最有效元素。荣格说过,当精神分裂症患者遇到了那个能从他身上感受到理解的人,他就停止精神分裂了。我们的研究为荣格的陈述提供了实证证据。
Other studies, both of schizophrenics and of counseling center clients, show that low empathy is related to a slight worsening in adjustment or pathology. Here, too, the findings make sense. It is as if the individual concludes "If no one understands me, if no one can grasp what these experiences are like, then I am indeed in a bad way more abnormal than I thought." One of Laing's patients states this vividly in describing earlier contacts with psychiatrists:
其他研究,不论是对于精神分裂症患者还是心理咨询中心的来访者,都显示了低共情与其适应或病理的轻微恶化相关。这里的发现也很有意义。这就好像个体得出结论:“如果没有人理解我,如果没有人能领会这些经历是什么样的,那么我的确在比自己以为的更不正常的糟糕处境里。”莱因(Laing)的一个病人在描述他早前与一个精神病医生的接触时生动地说明了这点:
It's a most terrifying feeling to realize that the doctor can't see the real you, that he can't understand what you feel and that he's just going ahead with his own ideas. I would start to feel that I was invisible or maybe not there at all (Laing, 1965, p. 166).
意识到医生不能理解真正的你,他不能理解你的感受,而且他只是跟着自己的想法前进,这是最令人恐惧的感觉。我开始觉得他看不见我,甚至我可能根本不在那儿(Laing, 1965, p. 166)。
Another meaning of empathic understanding to the recipient is that someone values him, cares, accepts the person that he is. It might seem that we have here stepped into another area, and that we are no longer speaking of empathy. But this is not so. It is impossible accurately to sense the perceptual world of another person unless you value that person and his world - unless you in some sense care. Hence the message comes through to the recipient that "this other individual trusts me, thinks I'm worthwhile. Perhaps I am worth something. Perhaps I could value myself. Perhaps I could care for myself."
对接受者来说,共情式理解的另一个含义是:有人重视他,在意和接受他如其所是的样子。这看上去似乎我们进入了另一个领域,我们说的也不再是共情。但情况并非如此。除非你重视那个人和他的世界,除非你在某种意义上在乎他,否则,精确地感知他人的感知世界是不可能的。因此,传递给接受者的信息是“这个其他个体信任我,认为我有价值。也许我是有价值的,也许我能重视我自己。也许我能喜欢我自己。”
A vivid example of this comes from a young man who has been a recipient of much sensitive understanding, and who is now in the later stages of his therapy:
有一个生动的例子,来自一个接受过非常精确理解的年轻人,他现在处在治疗的后期阶段。
Client: I could even conceive of it as a possibility that I could have a kind of tender concern for me. Still, how could I be tender, be concerned for myself, when they're one and the same thing? But yet I can feel it so clearly. You know, like taking care of a child. You want to give it this and give it that. I can kind of clearly see the purposes for somebody else but I can never see them for myself, that I could do this for me, you know. Is it possible that I can really want to take care of myself, and make that a major purpose of my life? That means I'd have to deal with the whole world as it I were guardian of the most cherished and most wanted possession, that this / was between this precious me that I wanted to take care of and the whole world It's almost as if I loved myself - you know - that's strange but it's true.
来访者:我甚至设想这样一种可能,我可以用一种温柔的方式关心我自己。但是,我怎么才能温柔呢,怎么才能关心我自己呢,当它们成为一体,成为一样的事物?不过我还是能清晰地感觉到。你知道,像照顾小孩一样。你想给他这个,给他那个。我可以有点清楚地领会为别人的目的,但是我不能理解为我自己,不能理解我能这样为我自己,你懂的。我真的想要照顾好我自己,把这作为我生命的主要目的,这样可以吗?那意味着我必须处理好这整个世界,因为我是那最珍贵的和最被渴求的财富的守卫者,我夹在我想要照顾好的这个珍贵的我和整个世界之间。这几乎好像我爱我自己,你懂的,那很怪异却又十分真实。(这句不确定怎么译,求高手。。)
Therapist: It seems such a strange concept to realize. It would mean 'I would face the world as though a part of my primary responsibility was taking care of this precious individual who is me - whom I love.'
治疗师:它似乎是一个奇怪的概念,很难理解。它将意味着‘我要面对这个世界,仿佛我最主要责任的一部分就是照顾好我这个珍贵的个体——我所爱着的人。’
Client: Whom I care for--whom I feel so close to. Woof! That's another strange one.
Therapist: It just seems weird.
来访者:我所关心的人,我感觉如此亲近的人。喔!那是另一个奇怪的概念。
治疗师:它看起来就是那么不可思议。
Client: Yeah. It hits rather close somehow. The idea of my loving me and the taking care of me. (His eyes grow moist.) That's a very nice one very nice.
来访者:是啊。不管怎样它都相当接近了。我的爱我和照顾我的概念。(他的眼睛变得湿润)。那是个非常好的概念,非常好。
It is, I believe, the therapist's caring understanding--exhibited in this excerpt as well as previously--which has permitted this client to experience a high regard, even a love, for himself.
我相信它是治疗师的关怀式理解——展现在这段引述里以及之前的行文里——它允许这位来访者体验一种对自己的高度的关注,甚至是爱。
Still another impact of a sensitive understanding comes from its nonjudgmental quality. The highest expression of empathy is accepting and nonjudgmental. This is true because it is impossible to be accurately perceptive of another's inner world, if you have formed an evaluative opinion of him. If you doubt this statement, choose someone you know with whom you deeply disagree, and who is in your judgment definitely wrong or mistaken. Now try to state his views, beliefs, feelings, so accurately that he will agree that this is a sensitively correct description of his stance. I predict that nine times out of ten you will fail, because your judgment of his views creeps into your description of them.
一种敏锐的理解带来另一个影响来自其非评判的品质。最高水平的共情表达是接受的和非评判的。这是正确的,因为,如果你对他人形成了一种评价性看法,要精确地感知他人的内部世界是不可能的。如果你质疑这段陈述,选择一个你认识但很不认同的,在你的判断里明显是不对或错误的人;然后努力去陈述他的观点、信念、感觉,要准确到他会同意这是对他的状态的极其正确的描述。我预测你十次中有九次都会失败,因为你对他的观点形成的判断潜移默化地影响了你的描述。
Consequently, true empathy is always free of any evaluative or diagnostic quality. This comes across to the recipient with some surprise. "If I am not being judged, perhaps I am not so evil or abnormal as I have thought. Perhaps I don't have to judge myself so harshly." Thus gradually the possibility of self-acceptance is increased.
所以,真正的共情并不具有任何评论或诊断的性质。这点也许会让接受者觉得有些奇怪,然后他也许会想,“如果对方没评论我,也许我还不像自己想象的那样糟糕或者不正常。也许我也不必这样苛刻地评论我自己。”这样,渐渐地,他的自我接受度就会上升。 
There comes to mind a psychologist whose interest in psychotherapy started as a result of his research in visual perception. In this research many students were interviewed and asked to relate their visual and perceptual history, including any difficulties in seeing, in reading, their reaction to wearing glasses, etc. The psychologist simply listened with interest, made no judgments on what he was hearing, and completed the gathering of his data. To his amazement, a number of these students returned spontaneously to thank him for all the help he had given them. He had, in his opinion, given them no help at all. But it forced him to recognize that interested non- evaluative listening was a potent therapeutic force, even when directed at a narrow sector of life, and when there was no intent of being helpful.
这让我想起来一位心理学家,他对心理治疗的兴趣源于他的视知觉研究。在这个研究中,许多学生被问到他们过去视觉和知觉的一些情况,包括他们在看或阅读方面的困难以及他们对佩戴眼镜的反应,等等。这位心理学家只是有兴趣地听学生们的讲述,收集他需要的数据,对听到的事情不进行任何评论。但奇怪的是,后来有相当一部分学生竟然回去找他,并感谢他对他们的帮助。这是他没有想到的,因为他自己其实并没有有意识地去帮他们。但这件事却让他不得不认识到,带有兴趣的非评论性的倾听是一种非常有效的治疗手段,即使是针对生活中很小的一个方面,即使并没有想在这方面去帮助的意图。 
Perhaps another way of putting some of what I have been saying is that a finely tuned understanding by another individual gives the recipient his personhood, his identity. Laing (1965) has said that "the sense of identity requires the existence of another by whom one is known" (p. 139). Buber has also spoken of the need to have our existence confirmed by another. Empathy gives that needed confirmation that one does exist as a separate, valued person with an identity.
如果用另一种方式来表达我刚才说的这些,也许可以说:被另一个个体很好地接受和理解,让接受者有了自己的人格和同一性(identity)。莱因( Laing,1965)曾说:“产生同一性,需要有另一个理解他的人存在”(p139)。布伯(Buber)也说过,我们需要他人来确认我们的存在。共情就赋予了这种所需的确认——一个人作为一个独立的、有价值的,拥有同一性的个体。 
Let us turn to a more specific result of an interaction in which the individual feels understood. He finds himself revealing material he has never communicated before, and in the process he discovers a previously unknown element in himself. Such an element may be "I never knew before that I was angry at my father," or "I never realized that I am afraid of succeeding." Such discoveries are unsettling but exciting. To perceive a new aspect of oneself is the first step toward changing the concept of oneself. The new element is, in an understanding atmosphere, owned and assimilated into a now altered self-concept. This is the basis, in my estimation, of the behavior changes which can come about as a result of psychotherapy. Once the self-concept changes, behavior changes to match the freshly perceived self.
让我们来看一个更加具体的个体感到被理解的互动结果。他发现自己揭示了一些他从来没有交流过的东西,而且在这个过程中,他发现了自己以前都没有意识到的问题。比如“我从来不知道我对父亲愤怒””或者““我从来没有意识到我害怕成功”。 这些发现会让人不安,但也让人兴奋。认识到自己的新的方面是改变自我概念的第一步。在一个被理解的氛围下,这个新的要素会被接受和吸收到现在转变了的自我概念中。 我认为,这是行为改变的基础,是心理治疗的一个结果。一旦自我概念改变了,行为也会改变来配合这个全新的自我认知。
If we think, however, that empathy is effective only in the one-to-one relationship we call
psychotherapy, we are greatly mistaken. Even in the classroom it makes an important difference. When the teacher shows evidence that he/she understands the meaning of classroom experiences for the student, learning improves. In studies made by Aspy and colleagues, it was found that children's reading improved significantly more when teachers exhibited a high degree of understanding t, han in classrooms where such understanding did not exist. This finding has been replicated in many classrooms (Aspy, 1972, Ch.4; Aspy and&, amp;, nbsp;Roebuck, 1975). Just as the client in psychotherapy finds that empathy provides a climate for learning more of himself, so the student in the classroom finds himself in a climate for learning subject matter, when he is in the presence of an understanding teacher.
然而,如果我们认为,共情只是在一对一的治疗关系中才有效,那就大错特错了。甚至在教室里,它也能导致很大的改变。当老师表现出他/她理解学生在教室里的感受,学生会学得更好。阿斯比(Aspy)和他的同事在研究中发现,当老师表现出更多的理解时,比起在那些老师没有表现出理解态度的教室里,孩子们的阅读有显著的提高(Aspy, 1972, Ch.4; Aspy and Roebuck, 1975)。正如心理治疗中的来访者发现共情提供了一种更多了解自我的气氛,因此教室中的学生也发现,当身边有一位具有理解力的教师在场时,他也处于一种更好学习知识的氛围。
Thus far I have spoken of the more obvious change-producing effects of empathy. I should like to turn to an aspect having to do with the dynamics of personality. I will make several brief statements and then endeavor to explain their meaning and significance.
到此为止,我讲述共情能带来的更为明显的效果。现在我将转向它的另一个方面,对于人格动态系统( dynamics of personality)的影响。我将进行一些概述,然后再尝试去解释它们的意义和重要性。
When a person is perceptively understood, he finds himself coming in closer touch with a wider range of his experiencing. This gives him an expanded referent to which he can turn for guidance in understanding himself and in directing his behavior. If the empathy has been accurate and deep, he may also be able to unblock a flow of experiencing and permit it to run its uninhibited course.
当一个人被敏锐地理解时,他会感到对自己目前的体验有了更清晰的了解。这样他就会找到一个了解自己和指导自己行为的方法或指引。如果共情发生得贴切且深入,他也许就能够因此开启自己的体验之流,并让它无拘无束地流动。
What is meant by these statements? I believe they will be clearer if I present an excerpt from a recorded interview with a woman in the later stages of therapy. This is an excerpt I have used previously, but it is particularly appropriate here:
这些话是什么意思呢?如果我呈现一位女士在治疗后期的一段面谈记录,我想它们会更清楚一点。这个摘录我之前用过,但在这里也很合适:
Mrs. Oak, a middle-aged woman, is exploring some of the complex feelings that have been troubling her:
奥克(Oak)夫人,一位中年妇女,正在经历一些让她感到困扰的复杂感情。
Client: I have the feeling it isn't guilt. (Pause. She weeps.) Of course, I mean, I can't verbalize it yet. (Then, with a rush of emotion.) It's just being terribly hurt!
Therapist: Mm-hmm. It isn't guilt except in the sense of being very much wounded somehow.
来访者:我觉着这不是内疚。(停顿了下,她抽泣着。)当然,我现在还是不能表达清楚。(然后,她一阵情绪上来。)这实在是太痛苦了。
治疗师:嗯。如果不是内疚,有可能是感到某种被深深伤害的感觉。
Client: (Weeping.) It's - you know, often I've been guilty of it myself, but in later years when I've heard parents say to their children, 'Stop crying,' I've had a feeling, a hurt, as though, well, why should they tell them to stop crying? They feel sorry for themselves, and who can feel more adequately sorry for himself than the child. Well, that is sort of what I mean, as though I mean, I thought that they should let him cry. And ... feel sorry for him too, maybe. In a rather objective kind of way. Well, that's ... that's something of the kind of thing I've been experiencing. I mean, now just right now. And in in- -
Therapist: That catches a little more of the flavor of the feeling, that it's almost as if you're really weeping for yourself.
来访者(轻轻地抽泣着):那个……你知道,我经常会感到内疚,但是,很多年后,当我听到家长跟他们的小孩说,“不准哭”,我就会有一种受伤的感觉,为什么他们不准小孩哭?孩子觉得难过,谁能比孩子自己更觉得难过呢?嗯,我的意思是,我觉得他们不应该阻止小孩哭。而且……或许也应该为他觉得难过。 这是一种相当客观的立场。嗯,这就是……是我体验到的某些东西。我是说,现在,此刻的感觉……
治疗师:我好像能了解一点你的感受了,这有点像你其实在为自己难过。
Client: Yeah. And again, you see, there's conflict. Our culture is such that... I mean, one doesn't indulge in self-pity. But this isn't - I mean, I FEEL it doesn't quite have that connotation. It may have.
Therapist: You sort of think there is a cultural objection to feeling sorry about yourself. And yet you feel the feeling you're experiencing isn't quite what the culture objects to either.
来访者:是的。你明白,这里又有冲突。你知道,我们的文化是那种……我是说,一个人不应该自怜自惜的。但是。我是说,我没有感觉到我们的文化有那种含义。或许它可能有。
治疗师:你有点觉得你们的文化不允许你自怜自惜。不过你又觉得你现在体验到的
感觉,也不完全是你们的文化所反对的。
Client: And then of course, I've come to... to see and to feel that over this - see, I've covered it up. (Weeps.) But I've covered it up with so much bitterness, which in turn I had to cover up. (Weeping.) That's what I want to get rid of! I almost don't care if I hurt.
Therapist: (Softly, and with an empathic tenderness toward the hurt she is experiencing.) You feel that here at the basis of it as you experience it, is a feeling of real tears for yourself. But that you can't show, mustn't show, so that's been covered by bitterness that you don't like, that you'd like to be rid of. You almost feel you'd rather absorb the hurt than to - than to feel the bitterness. (Pause.) And what you seem to be saying quite strongly is, I do hurt, and I've tried to cover it up.
来访者:后来当然,我已经学会……越过这点去看或感受。我已经掩饰得很好。(哭泣。)但是我掩饰得很痛苦,反过来我又要掩饰我的痛苦。(哭泣)。这就是我要摆脱的!哪怕再痛苦也要摆脱。
治疗师:(轻轻地,并以共情的温柔对待她正体验到的伤害。)当你体验到这种感觉时,你感到最根本的还是你为自己在伤心。但你又不能表现出来,所以这种伤心被苦楚所掩盖,你不想要这种苦楚,你想要摆脱它。你感到你宁愿吞下这种伤害,也不愿感受这种苦楚。(停顿)。你似乎很想表达的是,“我确实被伤害了,而且我想要掩饰它。”
Client: I didn't know it.
Therapist: Mm-hmmm. Like a new discovery really.
来访者:我也不知道。
治疗师:嗯,就像一个新的发现。
Client: (Speaking at the same time.) I never really did know. But it's - you know, it's almost a physical thing. It's - it's sort of as though I were looking within myself at all kinds of - nerve endings and bits of things that have been sort of mashed. (Weeping.)
Therapist: As though some of the most delicate aspects of you, physically almost, have been crushed or hurt.
Client: Yes. And you know, I do get the feeling, 'Oh you poor thing.'
来访者:(边哭边说。)我真的不知道。但是,你知道它确确实实在那里。 就好像我自己看到自己身体里面,各种神经末梢和小碎片都糊在一起。(哭泣)
治疗师:好像你身体里那些最脆弱的东西,真的被打破了一样。
来访者:是的。你知道,我就是这种感觉,“哦,真是可怜。”
Here it is clear that empathic therapist responses encourage her in the wider exploration of, and closer acquaintance with, the visceral experiencing going on within. She is learning to listen to her guts, to use an inelegant term. She has expanded her knowledge of the flow of her experiencing.
在这里,我们可以看到共情的治疗师是如何一步步鼓励她进一步发现自己,认识自己,看到那些内心的东西的。她正在学习去感受她的内心,去使用一种不优美的词汇。她深入地了解了她的体验的流动。 
Here, too, we see how this unverbalized visceral flow is used as a referent. How does she know that "guilt" is not the word to describe her feeling? By turning within, taking another look at this reality, this palpable process which is taking place, this experiencing. And so she can test the word "hurt" against this referent and finds it closer. Only when she tries on the phrase, "Oh you poor thing," does it really fit the inner felt meaning of compassion and sorrow for herself. In my judgment she has not only used this aspect of her experiencing as a referent, but has learned something about this process of checking with her total physiological being--a learning she can apply again and again. And empathy has helped to make it possible.
这里我们也可以看见,非语言的内在流动是如何作为指示物被使用的。她是怎么知道“内疚”不是她想表达的情感?通过观察内心感受,采取另一种方式去看待这个事实,这个明显的正在发生的过程,这个体验。然后,她借机试着使用“受伤”这个词,发现它更贴近自己的实际感受。当她尝试使用“哦,真是可怜”,这确实适合她对自己那种怜悯、悲伤的内心感受。在我看来,她不仅用自己的这部分体验作为指导,还学会了检查自己整个生理状况的过程——这一技能可以一遍又一遍使用。治疗师的共情使这个过程成为可能。 
We can also find in this slice of therapy what it means to let an experiencing run its course. This is clearly not a new feeling. She has often felt it before, yet it has never been lived out. It has been blocked in some way. I am quite clear as to the reality and vividness of the unblocking which follows, because I have many times been a party to its occurrence, but I am not sure how it may best be described. It seems to me that only when a gut level experience is fully accepted, and accurately labeled in awareness, can it be completed. Then the person can move beyond it. Again it is a sensitively empathic climate which helps to move the experiencing forward to its conclusion, which in this case is the uninhibited experiencing of the pity she feels for herself.
我们也可以在这个治疗的片段中看到,让一个体验顺其自然意味着什么。很明显这不是一种新的感受。她以前也会经常感受到,但一直没有表达出来。它在某种方式下被阻塞了。接下来的疏通过程的现实性和生动性,我相当地清楚,因为我曾经切身经历过这个过程很多次,但我现在还是不能找到最准确的语言来描述它。对我来讲,好像是当直觉层面的体验完全被接纳,并且在意识层面里有了准确的标签时,这个过程才得以完成。然后,这个人才能实现超越。一种敏感的共情气氛会帮助他完成这个过程,而在这个例子中,则是会帮助她解决她对自己的怜悯的感觉。
Conclusions
结论
I wish now to back off and give a rather different perspective on the significance of empathy. We can say that when a person finds himself sensitively and accurately understood, he develops a set of growth-promoting or therapeutic attitudes toward himself. Let me explain. (1) The non- evaluative and acceptant quality of the empathic climate enables him, as we have seen, to take a prizing, caring attitude toward himself. (2) Being listened to by an understanding person makes it possible for him to listen more accurately to himself, with greater empathy toward his own visceral experiencing, his own vaguely felt meanings. But (3) his greater understanding of, and prizing of, himself opens up to him new facets of experience which become a part of a more accurately based self. His self is now more congruent with his experiencing. Thus he has become, in his attitudes toward himself, more caring and acceptant, more empathic and understanding, more real and congruent. But these three elements are the very ones which both experience and research indicate are the attitudes of an effective therapist. So we are perhaps not overstating the total picture if we say that an empathic understanding by another has enabled the person to become a more effective growth enhancer, a more effective therapist, for himself.
我希望现在可以往回退一步,从另一个不同的视角去看共情的重要性。我们可以说,当一个人发现他自己可以被别人敏感而准确地理解时,他也会对自己发展出一套自我成长或者自我疗愈的态度。让我解释一下:(1) 如我们所见,共情的氛围中一种不评判的和接纳的特性鼓励他也采取一种珍惜而在意的态度对待他自己;(2)被一个可以理解他的人倾听,会使他也可能更准确的倾听他自己,带着更大的共情去对待他自身内在的经验、他自己模糊的感受。但是(3) 他对于自身的这种更大的理解和珍视,为他打开了新的经验面向,这些面向成为了他自性中更为精确的基础的一部分(成为他更精确地立足自我的一部分?)。他的自性(罗杰斯这里可译为“自我”,荣格心理学里更多讲“自性”),现在与他的经验更为一致。这样,他对待自己的态度,也变得更懂得关心和更接纳,更有共情心和理解力,也更真实和一致。但是,正如实验和研究都指出的那样,这三个要素恰恰是一个有效的治疗师所应具备的态度。所以,如果我们说,被他人共情的理解能促使一个人成为一个更有效的自我成长者,一个对他自己来说更有效的治疗师,大概我们没有夸大这个宏观的图景。
Consequently, whether we are functioning as therapists, as encounter group facilitators, as teachers or as parents, we have in our hands, if we are able to take an empathic stance, a powerful force for change and growth. Its strength needs to be appreciated.
因此,我们是否可以作为治疗师、会心团体带领者、老师或父母发挥作用,其实掌握在我们自己的手中,如果我们可以采取一种共情的态度、一种强有力的驱动力量来促使改变和成长,我们就可以做到。这种共情的力量需要被欣赏。
Finally, I want to put all that I have said into a larger context. Because I have been speaking only of the empathic process, it may seem that I regard it as the only important factor in growthful relationships. I would not wish to leave that impression. I would like briefly to state my views as to the significance of what I see as the three attitudinal elements making for growth, in their relationship to one another.
最后,我想把所有我谈到的放入一个更广泛的背景中。因为上文我只论述了共情的过程,可能有人觉得,我只将共情视为良好关系中唯一重要的因素。我不希望给读者留下这个印象。我希望简单地陈述我的观点,我认为在人们与他人的关系中,三个促进成长的态度元素都非常重要。 
In the ordinary interactions of life--between marital and sex partners, between teacher and student, employer and employee, or between colleagues, it is probable that congruence is the most important element. Such genuineness involves letting the other person know "where you are" emotionally. It may involve confrontation, and the personally owned and straightforward expression of both negative and positive feelings. Thus congruence is a basis for living together in a climate of realness.
在日常的互动中--婚姻和性伴侣之间,师生之间,老板与下属之间,同事之间,一致性很可能是最重要的元素。这样真挚的互动涉及了让他人知道在情绪上“你身处何处”。这可能包括面对、私人化拥有和直接表达积极和消极的情绪。 因此,一致性是在真实气氛中一起生活的基础。
But in certain other special situations, caring or prizing may turn out to be the most significant. Such situations include non-verbal relationships parent and infant, therapist and mute psychotic, physician and very ill patient. Caring is an attitude which is known to foster creativity--a nurturing climate in which delicate, tentative new thoughts and productive processes can emerge. Then, in my experience, there are other situations in which the empathic way of being has the highest priority. When the other person is hurting, confused, troubled, anxious, alienated, terrified; or when he or she is doubtful of self-worth, uncertain as to identity, then understanding is called for. The gentle and sensitive companionship of an empathic stance - accompanied of course by the other two attitudes - provides illumination and healing. In such situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift one can give to another.
但是在某些其他特定情形下,关怀和奖励可能被证实为最有效的。这样的情形包括:父母与婴儿、治疗师和封闭的精神病患者、医生和重症病人之间的非语言关系。关怀是众所周知的一种培养创造力的态度——一种助长性的氛围,其中会出现微妙的试验性新思想和富于成效的进展。然后,在我的经验里,在有些情况下,共情的存在方式有最高优先级。当另一个人受伤、困惑、混乱、焦虑、被疏远、受惊吓的时候;或者当他或她怀疑自我价值,不确定身份,那么我们便要呼唤理解。在共情的立场上温柔而敏感的陪伴——当然要带着另外这两种态度——提供了阐释和疗愈。我认为在这样的情形下,深深的理解是一个人可以给予另一个人的最珍贵礼物。
 
 
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